It's the end of the world 😫
Me: I'm going to read and write an inordinate amount and make weird art 🤓
Hi there,
Lately, I've been thinking about why I’m in grad school. It's certainly not for the money. And yes, I'm human and, sometimes, I miss my old 9-5 schedule (I was good at not bringing work home). From time to time, I miss the income (but that’s only when I have a large bill to pay and I just have to be thrifty and intentional). In hindsight, I was not wise with my money (when I was making way more money). I’m far wiser now when dealing with my finances and overall life (I’m WAY past my Saturn return as well so that helps).
I’m thinking a lot about school, work, and this fictitious idea of work-life balance (when you’re in academia, working, AND freelancing, well, it all just seems to blur together). Not sure if you know, but just in case, I’m (still) on strike with my union at UC Santa Cruz (UAW 2865). Despite the strike, there seems to be hope on the horizon since UC Berkeley grads were awarded millions in back pay! I deeply commend the leadership of the union. Labor organizing is no joke. It’s a tremendous amount of work and rallying people together to fight towards equal pay while addressing the multi-faceted nature and necessity of wage parity to such a diverse and wide spectrum of community members is, well, intense AF. I understand the precarity of being in school and the potential scarcity of jobs on the market by the time I start searching for a tenure-track position. But I’m also preparing myself to look beyond academia, which explains why I work part-time (for an amazing non-profit I love so very much - I also just need to work), on top of my research and studies, and in addition to my TAship. I guess you could say I don’t really know what it feels like to not work. I’ve worked since I was 14 years old (my first job paid me $4.50!!! For reference, the minimum wage in 1996 was $4.75/hour. Holy 💩, right?) In any case, I deeply value how I earn my money these days and I’m far more of an adult now than ever before.
I’m curious, what have you given up in your life recently that is a struggle for you? What are the ways you’re taking care of yourself and grounding your practice (whatever that might be), but tending to the necessary matters in life (i.e., paying bills, buying groceries, taking care of your family, etc.)? If you could go back and tell your younger self advice about the future, what would you say to them, her, or him?
I wish I could whisper in the ear of my 20-something-year-old self and say, "Yoooo, I know you're miserable and you feel like you don't fit in. Sometimes, I catch you in your most anxious and depressed states. Please know I would embrace you while you cry and tell you you’re gonna be just fine and you’re gonna do big things. Just be patient and keep at it. I URGE you to do what you love and don't settle and, for the love of Bast (goddess of the underworld and protector of cats), leave the toxic people alone. Trust your gut, no matter how disarming they might be, let them be. I wish I could protect you, but you will be learning some tough and heartbreaking lessons. But you’re stronger than you think. Don’t forget to read, write and make all the weird art you possibly can. I’ll be waiting for you because I KNOW you’ll have so many wonderful stories. Oh, the last thing, hydrate and get sleep." The path was circuitous, but I’m here. Look, Omma, I’m doin’ it. Really, truly, my Mom taught me all I know and she wonders where the hell I get it from. 🥰 But all I ever want to do is make her proud…
I'm way happier with myself and much more confident than I ever was when I was working in biotech. While I, sometimes, feel like the introverted, vulnerable, art weirdo, I’m fortunate to have folks that love and care for me just the way I am. 😍
Sending you a lot of love and light,
Dorothy
What I’m reading…
Bullying: A BAD Gameplan by Frances McGee ⛸ Once upon a time, I was a skater in a roller derby league (the league written about in this medium article). I learned how to skate when was 30 years old, a painful learning curve, which resulted in two surgeries (one that almost killed me). While I didn’t have the same experience as Frances, I can fully attest to the culture she described.
Insights on Applying for Things and Getting Rejected by Jenifer K. Wofford 📝 Are you applying for grants, fellowships, and/or artist residencies? Two words: read this…now! 🙏🏾
Requiem of Instructions for the Artist/Creative to Reflect on by Sonia Guiñansaca 💜 One of my favorite and beloved artists, Sonia wrote this excellent piece. Every time I read their writing, I’m blown away. Do yourself a favor: make yourself a cup of tea, sit by a window, read and follow these instructions, and reflect. You’re welcome. 😌
What (podcasts) I’m listening to…
Not sure if you know this, but I commute from the Bay Area to Santa Cruz a few times a week for school (one hour each way, if there’s no traffic, got this down to a science)! That means, I spend, at least 6 hours per week driving to and from Santa Cruz. I listen to A LOT of podcasts and music, but these are the three podcasts I've been listening to non-stop since the beginning of the year.
Today, Explained hosted by Sean Rameswaram (News)
Hurry Slowly hosted by Jocelyn K. Glei (Culture)
The Happiness Lab hosted by Dr. Laurie Santos (Psychology)
Also, I absolutely welcome suggestions! 👂🏾
Where I’ve been…
I had a wonderful day with my sister and niece a couple of weeks ago. We passed by the Vintage Paper Fair (one of my favorite events). FULL ON GEEK ALERT. 🤓
My haul included:
six vintage Star Wars trading cards of the Empire Strikes Back ($3)
a gently used copy of science fiction book The Circus of Dr. Lao by Charles G. Finney (illustrations by Boris Artzybasheff) ($5)
a copy of Galaxy Magazine from February 1961 (of all the ones I dug through, this was one of the only issues out of MANY that had one woman science fiction writer) ($3)
a Marvel Super Special edition of Close Encounters of the Third Kind (from 1978, mint condition) ($3)
a July 1978 issue of Future Magazine focused on interplanetary travel ($5)
After the fair, we went to the de Young to see Soul of a Nation: Art in the Age of Black Power 1963–1983 exhibition. I highly recommend and here are some of my favorite works from the show (please forgive the poor photo quality) 😖
Some Bright Morning, 1963 by Melvin Edwards, Medium: Welded steel, Dimensions: 14 1/4 x 9 1/4 x 5 in. (36.2 x 23.5 x 12.7 cm)
Untitled (Parabolic lens, unique asymmetrically center), 1975 by Fred Eversley, Medium: Parabolic lens, unique asymmetrically center cast, Dimensions: approx. 36 1/2 (92.7 cm) diameter x 9 7/8" (25.1 cm) - this is based on another one of his sculptural pieces. Unfortunately, I was unable to find the dimensions of this particular work (and it wasn’t on the didactic)
Medal of Honor, 1967 by Ben Hazard, Medium: Acrylic on canvas, Dimensions: Unknown
Confessions for Myself, 1972 by Barbara Chase-Riboud, Medium: Black patinated bronze and wool, Dimensions: Unknown
Writing Prompt:
What book, essay, article, movie, artwork (you get the idea, pick one or all) you once loved or deeply resonated with you, but now, you find yourself disagreeing with it or not as moved? What happened? What disappoints now or were you glad that you found yourself growing out of a trend or phase of your life? I would love to hear all about it.
(Also, there’s another prompt all the way at the bottom).
Resources:
For those of you looking for grants, fellowships, or residencies, I highly recommend subscribing to the following newsletters: Creative Capital, Eva Recinos, and Words of Mouth
For those looking for art and culture recommendations, check out these lovely humans - Rachel Khong’s monthly What What What and Michelle Li’s aptly named missive, Letter of Rec!
WOW…you made it this far (some of the greatest stuff is at the bottom of newsletters, by the way). So, make sure you read all the way through (always). Simple request: Please name this newsletter. I NEED a new name. I’ll definitely credit you, give you a tarot reading, and eternal gratitude! 😍 Also, if you read all the way through this missive, send me your favorite emoji OR tell me about your favorite movie or story, but through emojis! 👍🏾✌🏾🖖🏾